Sunday, December 10, 2006

Maybe Santa Can Help...

During a recent vacation I had an opportunity to pay more attention to the news and other assorted idiocy that poses as discourse on American television. Understand that about 20 years ago, for lack of anything interesting or meaningful, we discarded our television. Nevertheless, we never lost touch with the world about us. Actually, we began to realize that the real world was nothing like the one commonly portrayed by the news networks and other assorted drivel displayed by major networks for the public.

When on vacation I watch TV a bit to see if anything has changed in 20 years. In short, little has changed! The biggest change has been the emergence of the alternative media, i.e. talk radio, “The Internet,” and a single news network offering fairly intelligent (but by no means unbiased) political news, information and opinion.

Consequently, I spend quite a bit of time reading, listening and then digesting what is said and written about events that impact my world and my worldview.

The problem with keeping up with local, state, and world events is that there are few to whom I can go to voice my agreement, disagreement or just plain confusion about events happening both in the United States and abroad. I can’t write to either of my Senators (Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer) with any reasonable expectation of an intelligent response. It has been scientifically proven that they are both brain dead. I can attest to this personally in the case of Feinstein, as we once prepared dinner for her at the request of a close friend who, God forbid, supported her. It was a very small group of seven people and I sat directly across the table from Ms. Feinstein for about two hours. The overwhelming sense I was left with is that she is one of the dumbest people I have ever met!

Letters to the President or Vice President are electronically answered with a limp message about how wonderful it is that I wrote, but how busy the White House is, blah, blah, blah… Ditto for Chairpersons of committees, Speakers of the House, Senate majority leaders, etc. So here I was, in Arizona, frustrated as hell that the same nonsense, in living color, was unfolding around the world and no one was doing much about it except talk. Most important (to me at least) was the clarity with which I saw potential solutions to these matters. If only I could find one person to whom I could voice my frustration. If only one person would at least listen to what seemed like specific and reasonable courses of action targeted to the world trouble spots.

As I flipped through channels in our room while waiting to leave for dinner, Christmas commercials were everywhere. Suddenly it occurred to me that maybe there was someone who would listen, someone who could bring me what I was looking for – clarity, action and solutions. At first blush it seemed too much to ask – He was particularly busy at this time of year and had an awful lot to do before Christmas, and worst of all, he just might be a Democrat! Nevertheless, I decided that writing or calling Washington, Sacramento, and my local politicians was futile, so why not try someone who always seemed to find time to read his mail at this time of year.

It was then that I penned my (now famous) letter to Santa. Rather than ask for many different things, I would target only one area of concern, and hoped that Santa had the wherewithal to deliver. I had nothing to lose since no one else had done much to date in the area that troubles me most.

Dear Santa:

I decided to make a list - a Christmas list - of some things that you could help me with if you have time. If I receive any of my gift requests, it would help me realize that there is something that can do to help stop the march of Islam (Militant and otherwise) across America and the world. Here is my list:

1.) Close all Muslim schools in the United States. They more often than not preach hate, and are anti-American. Now idiot converts to Islam are trying to blow-up shopping malls. These Muslim schools have got to go – now! Please send our government whatever it takes to realize that their Political Correctness in this matter is going to eventually get a lot of people killed.

2.) Announce a boycott of all news media who refuse to tell readers and listeners the truth - about anything. This is a tough one, but you can help me do it if anyone can.

3.) Continue the practice of destroying Islam fanatics in other countries. To wit: remove Al-Sadr, remove Ademinijhad, and remove Hamas and Hisbollah leaders. (Remove means to send them, via a one-way ticket, to where their 72 virgins reside.) As an aside Santa, I need help with something else that puzzles me. If there are about 1 billion Muslims in the world, and if about half are male. How can there be enough virgins to go around? After all, 72 times even a half billion is a LOT of virgins.

4.) Increase United States Special Forces in Iraq to at least 20,000, and change the rules of engagement to include doing anything that works to eliminate Al Qaeda personnel. Anything means just that, anything relative to the intention of killing as many as possible in any way possible.

5.) Destroy the myth of the ISG. Its chairman, James Baker is an anti-Semite, and a panderer. He has about as much a place on a group of this type as Jimmy Carter has running the Pentagon. A major aspect of this single objective would be to discredit everything the group has said, and to do so by providing facts. For example, we do not talk with countries that provide the weapons to insurgents, aka terrorists, who kill our (and our allies’) troops. Instead we should provide date of manufacturer and factory in Iran from whence the weapons came. This is but a single example, Santa. Perhaps, with my compliments,, you can send a fact sheet to all members of the ISG because their recent conclusions and recommendations are certainly short on facts.

If you have access to anything from The Wizard of OZ, perhaps you can send Baker and Hamilton a brain. A heart would be good too, but courage probably need not be bothered with for these two. I imagine even you have your limits.

6.) Schedule a meet with President Bush and ask him to tell us when he will start behaving like the CIC – after all, he’s halfway through his second term and he’s still tiptoeing to the tune of his opponents rather than using the force he has available to stop the war in Iraq dead in its tracks, destroy the terrorists, and let the world know that the dumbest thing anyone can do is screw around with the United States!

Could you give the President the courage (see #5 above) to demand a date when we will tell Iran to stop its rabble rousing and dirty deeds? If that doesn’t do the trick, use our conventional, and, if necessary, nuclear weapons to turn Iran into a parking lot (shades of Barry Goldwater!), and turn their dream of nuclear superiority in the region into a nightmare (i.e., see #6 above).

7.) Drop a few million leaflets as you go about your rounds telling people that no one should be subjected to Sharia Law. It is horrid, barbarous, and as far as it being used here, does not comport with the Constitution of the United States. Sharia is not that different in spirit from the racial laws that Hitler enacted. They target the weak, expand the power of the rulers, and curtail many aspects of normal healthy human development. Please think about this. Ask you elves about it. How would they feel if tomorrow they were subjected to Sharia Law?

I have been a good person this year and know that millions of others around the world have been good too. No one should suffer from Imams who hate, from Sharia law that eventually kills not only people but freedom, or from terrorists here, in Iraq, in Iran or anywhere else.

I am not sure if you can help, Santa, but as I wrote above, no one in Washington seems to be either able or willing to make this “wish list” a reality. I guess you are my last resort.

That’s it for this letter. I know it’s a tall order on such short notice, but please do your best.

Thank you and God speed.


PS: Drive safely.

PPS: I have another list for North Korea and China, but I’ll save that for next Christmas.